We’re recruiting again. This is obviously good news but it’s also perplexing – despite the current market conditions we still find ourselves scrapping for the best graduates. They seem to have as many options as ever and, having to cope with them deciding between many offers, can be a humbling process for this owner-manager of a small financial PR agency.

Yet it’s only fair they take their time and weigh their needs. This is a critical moment in their careers and mistakes now can be difficult to correct further along the line. Also, a mistake for me – as an employer – is a lot easier to navigate than a mistake for the employee, who’ll have what I call a “story line” on their CV for ever more (ie a line that requires explanation).

So, despite my irritations, I sympathise – deciding between closely matched offers isn’t easy. And nor is letting down the losing option. So here are my tips for both. First, deciding between two options:

1)   Remove the emotions. Most graduates make career decisions based on their emotions. Of course, gut feelings are important but you need to differentiate. For instance, bonding with the people you met is a strong indicator of future co-operation. Being impressed by their roof-top bar or the fact they were based in Soho isn’t.

2)   Plot a path. Yet developing judgement isn’t easy – especially for graduates with no experience in their chosen sector. The best way to develop it, in my opinion, is to visualise yourself in 10-years’ time. What are you doing, where and with whom? Now come back to the present, which one gets you on that path towards that Nirvana?

3)   Calculate your values. If you find the 10-year visualisation difficult (or clouded by emotions) then take a step back and write down your “true values”. In What’s Stopping You? I call this Our Constitution – the principles we live by. For instance, are we primarily driven by success or creativity? Do we see ourselves as someone keen to nurture talent, or as the talent seeking space for our artistic endeavour? With Our Constitution written down, the choice should be a lot clearer (and the path easier to visualise).

4)   Ignore money – within limits. There will be a bracket for your skill/experience levels, which your recruiter should be able to tell you. Anything below that bracket can be ignored, or at least lobbied for an improved offer. Yet within the bracket, money should not be the decider – not least because, once within an organisation, things can change rapidly.

5)   Do the 50:50 chart. If still struggling draw a table with the two choices as the headers. The rows will be every element dictating your decision (the firm’s reputation, the role on offer, the atmosphere in the office, the location, money etc). Score each out of 10 and, importantly, weight each – perhaps banding together the peripherals such as location and atmosphere.

6)   Flip a coin. If the 50:50 chart fails, flip a coin – it will at least tell you the result you secretly wanted (if it lands the wrong way).

Yet your problems are just beginning. Once decided, we now have the delicate task of letting the loser know. Extreme care is required, although – from my experience (and from talking to others) – extreme clumsiness is the norm.

1)   Don’t play the email game. This is as old as email itself. 10-minute waits for an enthusiastic reply, if not less, suddenly become days of silence after the offer is made, followed by excuses and non-committal language. All recruiters know what this means – you’re playing for time because another offer may be forthcoming. Yet I’m not a potential date, jealously seeking your exclusive affections. I’m a professional looking to employ another professional. Given this, trust and honesty go a lot further than cloak and dagger email games.

2)   State your strategy. A strong alternative to the email game is to be as upfront as possible – not least because it can do you no harm. If, in the interview, you raise the fact you are being seen by various rivals, I will try my hardest to make my company attractive to you. If, when I make an offer, you then state you want to complete this process before making any decision, then, again, I will try my hardest to attract you, potentially improving my offer. On the other hand if my response is one of jealousy and spitefulness, then you’ve been offered a valuable insight into my likely behaviour as an employer.

3)   Go easy on the horse-trading. There’s nothing wrong with the line “X have offered me £Y but I’d prefer to work with you” if it’s true. It may well win you an improved offer, but the limits of this process are quickly reached. Come back again, and the shutters may thunder down. And, as stated, there’s a bracket for your position – go way beyond it and you actually make yourself vulnerable (not a great place to be in the early years).

4)   Use careful language when turning me down. This is not just a question of my hurt pride (although that matters). All professional sectors are a village, and it is a question of your place in that village. Sure, state the positives of the alternative offer but be careful not to offer criticisms of the rejected party. Any evaluation based on interviews is thin, at best, so you’d be crazy to tell “home truths”, no matter how sincerely they are felt. Sure, honesty is best policy while making your mind up, but when turning down the rejects, some sugar-coated lying is absolutely in your interest.

5)   Join the network. The best way to view the first round of interviews is as early networking opportunities in your chosen sector. It may be years before you get to meet so many senior people again, so make the most of it. Contacts, clients, partnerships, future jobs – all can come from making (and leaving) a good impression at this critical juncture. Be rude now and it will be remembered. Turn-down statements such as “I loved your organisation and will keep a close eye on its future progress” will, at the very least, generate a positive view. And it may lead to an improved offer.

6)   Commit. Once your decision is made, state this firmly to all the parties involved, and then mentally close the door on the process. Indeed, the line “I have now committed to X and it would be unprofessional of me to go back on my word” leaves me admiring your professionalism and perhaps determined to get you “next time”. Rudeness (whether intended or not) will have me thankful you are my rivals problem, rather than mine.

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